Thursday, November 19, 2009
It has been a really rough couple of days. Missing Emersyn like crazy and thinking about all of our memories together. It really is moment to moment and hour by hour in terms of how we are coping. One minute we feel a bit better and the next minute we are plunged back into pain. So exhausting. Our grief reminds us that this is not a "choice" or a thing we recover from, it is like a life long disease that you learn (or at least try to) manage. Time for us is still standing still. Each new day right now feels like one day further away from Emersyn. We are really dreading the upcoming New Year because in 2008 & 2009 she was here. We are wishing that this was all just a really bad dream and that we will wake up and have our beautiful daughter here with us safe and sound. The only way we won't become "bitter" is to let out the entire range of emotions, especially the anger. Big difference between healthy anger that our child is gone and bitterness.