Our beautiful daughter Emersyn Paige passed away from SMA Type 1 on April 7th,2009 at the age of 7 months old. This blog is dedicated to her life, legacy and spirit and our journey as a family through grief.

Monday, November 2, 2009

New "Normal"

Last Halloween Emersyn was about six weeks old and dressed up as a pumpkin. I picked out two pumpkin outfits as I could not decide which one I liked the best. We took pictures of daddy and Emersyn in her costume and it was obviously more for us than her as she was sound asleep for most of our Halloween fun but we could...n't miss the opportunity to photograph our daughters "First Halloween".This year Jason and I spent the day at Michaels's picking out a winter remembrance wreath and stand for her spot at the cemetary. As of November 1st we are no longer allowed to bring flowers as it is too cold and the ground vases will crack.

We picked out a beautiful wreath and had it customized with sparkling copper butterflys and shimmering pine cones for Christmas. Just as I was feeling proud of myself for being able to do this gut wrenching shopping trip I stopped and looked at all of the "earthlings" doing their Christmas shopping and happily browsing the aisles and had the sudden urge to tell them what Jason and I were actually doing there. I wonder what they would have said if they knew that we were picking out a holiday wreath for our daughters grave. This "new normal" certainly does not feel in any way shape or form normal. We are doing what we can to survive all the while trying our best to honour our child. I don't even know what 'normal' is anymore....

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